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    9/21/2009

    滑过杯缘的指尖,欲言又止的苦颜;陷入沉默的两人,靠近得很远。

    最近重遇很多人。漫长的暑假之后,忽然又有了联系。
    离近离远,闲谈叙旧。看开看不开的,都娓娓道来。
    友人如是说:

    Z: “Terri,你是不是想要得太多。”
    M: “现在的我变得和当年的你一样,对许多细节,都太在乎。”
    J : “为什么不试一下控制自己的强势,糊涂一点呢。”

    毫无疑问我们是相爱的。于情于理我都那么坚信。
    可是当我们并肩而坐却无话可说,沉默许久仍是互相尴尬的时候,我明白我们安然处之的风平浪静朝夕相对是危险的。
    或是需要刻意去找天马行空的话题来填满彼此的距离。话越多,竟然就越寂寞。
    四目相对的愕然与慌乱。
    为什么相爱,可以像生涩演员害怕背错台词一样窘迫,紧张又害怕。

    于是我们开始物极必反地迎来一个个巨细无遗的波澜。
    吃饭,点菜,看书,电话,短信,嘴脸,语气,错别字。都是不快的可能。
    坦白,和好。争执大大小小。依恋起起跌跌。

    心里无数次责怪自己的严苛,和对完美的不切实际的执著和期望。
    始终,是要用力走出自己设下的门槛,开始从高傲的顶峰,一步一步走下山。
    回到二十岁该有的易于满足的乐观精神上。

    原来我还没那么想要环球旅行和大房。
    现在的我,最想要的,是你和阳光。

    Comments (1)

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    Helen aa_wrote:
    诚如你说的,朝夕相对是危险的。
    某个晚上看完“500 days of Summer"(strongly recommend!),在chilly的巴士站等车回去的时候我问P,为啥在一起的时候总容易发现对方的不好,分开了却陷在那些甜蜜却不在的美好里出不来。
    "Cos it's always hard for ppl to forget about good memories. Yet when they're always together, they're exposed much more to each other, which may lead to unsatisfaction or misunderstanding."
    慢慢一步步走下山吧,爱会让你发现沿途的风景也很美。
    Sept. 21

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